Today’s review is on the book Emotionally Healthy Twins by Dr. Joan A Friedman, PhD. I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of relevant information, and thought-provoking insight in this book! As a psychotherapist, mom of twins, and a twin herself, Dr. Friedman has a unique perspective on twin-issues, and although the parenting philosophy she introduces in the book may not be exactly what every twin parent wants to hear, I think they are exactly what we need to hear.

As parents of multiples, we love to see the close bonds that form between our children. Playing together, hugging, taking care of each other; it’s simply heartwarming. But when it comes to multiples, there is such a thing as “too much togetherness”, and for parents, learning where to draw the line is extremely important.

All children, whether singletons or multiples, need the opportunity to grow and learn as individuals. Growing up as a multiple provides many unique opportunities for close special, relationships, but also presents major challenges to the healthy emotional development of a child. The challenges will change and evolve as a child reaches toddlerhood, preschool, elementary, and high school, but the sooner we begin to treat our children as individuals, the easier these challenges will be to conquer. Using real life examples, Emotionally Healthy Twins clearly portrays the possible pitfalls of failing to allow our children to have their own, separate experiences and identities.

Dr. Friedman covers at length the unique challenges which children may face at each life stage as a twin. Beginning from the time you find out you are pregnant, through college and beyond, she offers strategies for dealing with the inevitable difficult situations that will arise. Here are just a few examples of the issues she covers:

• Feeling guilt over preferring one baby over another, due to one’s temperament compared to the other. (This is a normal feeling, and does not mean that you love one more than the other!)
• Encouraging your children to have separate interests and hobbies without having either feel left out.
• Dealing with the normal “breaking away” of twins from each other; it’s normal and healthy!
• Making each child feel special on their birthday
• Why it’s just as important to teach multiples that they don’t always have to share
• Handling differences in academic performance
• How to deal with, and help your children deal with going to separate colleges

One of the best aspects of this book is that it doesn’t only cover the emotional development of twins, but of the entire family. As we all know, parenting twins can be a very big stress on a marriage, and I truly believe that reading this book is a great first step to being prepared for the changes that come about when your babies arrive. There is a section devoted to dad-issues, as well as one which covers how to prepare your other children for their new role as big brother/sister.

Emotionally Healthy Twins is by far one of the most valuable books I have encountered on parenting multiples. Having the unique experience of being a twin, as well as raising twins gives amazing credibility to the parenting philosophy that Dr. Friedman supports. As a parent of multiples, it’s a tool that you can’t afford not to have in your arsenal!

XHTML | CSS | RSS | Wordpress | Design by Infektia.net